Leap Beyond Faith
by XtaticPearl
Summary: "If you don't want to be a hero, don't be a villain as well." "There is no hero or villain Cap, there is just brilliance or failure. And I am not a failure." Tony is hell-bent on getting the SRA passed and Steve is determined not to sacrifice freedom for tyrannous discipline. Will the Avengers survive the looming war or will they kill each other? Tony/Steve, Civil War setting.


Hi! Ever since I read the _Civil War_ series, I had this ache in my heart. Knowing that the star-crossed pair (you will **not** convince me otherwise), Tony and Steve, never got the chance to sort things out killed me. Since I can't rewrite the comics or badger MCU to not kill Captain America in CA3 (sends telepathic signals), I decided to create my own versions. Because the fandom is beautiful and I cannot let Steve die. Just no. Therefore, here's a take at what **could have happened** ; if Tony chose words over wars. My love for Tony/Steve knows no boundaries!

 **Fandom: Avengers**

 **Pair: Tony/Steve; Ironman/Captain America**

 **Rating: M**

 **Warnings: Slash, hints of violent childhood, partial dubcon, PTSD, mention of character death, suicidal tendencies, hurt(MAJOR), alcohol abuse...you get the gist.**

 **If you are susceptible to emotional triggers, depression or any traumatic triggers, please use caution. This may be a story but you are real.**

At first there was no caffeine. Then 3 weeks of only coffee. No, really, litres of cappuccinos, frappes, decaf lattes, café zorro with the essential shots of Guillermo and Turkish coffee. With all his booze shipped out to the Stark Headquarters a.k.a the official residence of , he had pronounced coffee as the new liqueur. Sure, it wasn't as effective as the burning alcohol he had been taking as a daily dosage for a better part of 41 years but hey, never too late to turn a new bean right? The decapitated Dumm-E in his workshop was his latest reason for a fresh brew of percolated bliss. There was no blood staining his hands this time, so Tony presumed it was marginally better than the last bout of shotgun blasting. Rhodes really hadn't looked happy when he became test target for the last Blastbeam bullets. Surprising, seeing how he was hell-bent on getting Tony to _release his pressure_. Seriously, he could have tried a less blood-thirsty approach, maybe some laser tazer or something, but where's the fun when you can't see the result all bright and bold, huh? Rhodey buddy had been no fun but a little help, since it had finally struck Tony to pull back on the size and push up the reaction time. Oh well, Dumm-E's case with the FireSlicer had been fun. No screams and "Tony, you're fucking crazy!" or "What's wrong with you, you sick bastard?!". Less effort for him to clear things up.

After the disbanding of the Avengers – really, how many things could you possibly avenge?- and the minor incident of Pepper leaving him for his ex-driver Happy, Tony had finally found peace with his inner person. You know, the red guy with a burning need to destroy all things happy and just keep blasting things into space? Fury seemed to think that it was his inner fury (snort, that's so punny right?) and Tony seemed to agree with his first deduction of Fury. The guy wasn't worth a scrap of junk in his overflowing junkyard. Sure, the attempts by the one-eyed King King to strip away Stark Industries and all the assets from Tony had been interesting. Terribly childish and amateur, but interesting. Seven months of planning and 1400 lawyers enslaved, S.H.I.E.L.D had been tremendously overworked and zealous in their attempts. Ah well, they could have just asked him to step down and faced humiliation at a small level. Tony had good entertainment though, wiping away every single trace of information from the S.H.I.E.L.D systems until they surrendered the game and power to him. He had wished they hadn't tried to psychoanalyse him through the old , but it didn't really matter in the end. Tony liked this anger. It made him think faster, work better and take decisions without thinking much. Thinking really slowed him down and if he wasn't something, it was slow. He missed nothing of his old life. Except for maybe JARVIS, since his old AI had been compromised and flitted away during the whole Ultron fiasco. He did have a part of him retained, but he couldn't have the entire thing back. ARES wasn't all that bad though; in fact, the new AI was much more effective. It was non-judgemental, obedient and impenetrable. He could have gone with a less godly name maybe, but it did remind him of an ex-friend. One of the two friends he had from the Avengers mess. Feeling the familiar rage swirl back up at the thought of the friendly God, Tony slammed down the bitter liquid and went back to the workshop. Maybe he could blast off one of his newer robots this time. And maybe, he could try to forget the blood-curling screams from his nightmares with those blasts. Fury was wrong. It wasn't just anger; it was his only defense against life. Tony Stark needed his anger to avoid being helpless again. He would _never_ be helpless again.

 **A/N:** Too much of dark!Tony? Sorry, but my muse is having a field day with angsty feelings. Steve will be coming to play in the next chapter hopefully. I know that this one was terribly short, but I promise to try longer ones henceforth. Especially since we'll be having conversations and super duper fun pretty soon. R & R. I'll send you mind-hugs!


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